Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Took some time to "just be"....

The last time I sat down to write about this incredibly frustrating journey, I was 13 dpo of the cycle in May... a cycle with a horrible false glimmer of hope.  I ended up getting my period on CD28... right on cue.  June was the exact same and this cycle is a whole different story!  I was so tired of writing the same thing over and over and over... failure after failure after failure.  I needed some time to not think about it... that didn't work.

Start of the next cycle...  I had talked to the NP at my last mid cycle ultrasound about when it would be time to start clomid to try and get an extra follicle to increase our chances of fertilization.  We decided now is that time.  So I called the office with the start of the next cycle and they called in a prescription for 50mg of clomid to take days 3-8.  I was able to skip the baseline ultrasound since I was not previously on any medication and have never had any issues with cysts.  The clomid wasn't horrible... a little crabbier, but everyone survived!  I went in for my CD12 ultrasound and the clomid definitely did what it was supposed to do.  She started the ultrasound and the follicles kept coming.  Not as many as the month I got pregnant with the twins, but 4 measurable follicles: 18, 17, 14, 13 and many that were just slightly smaller.  Unfortunately, this meant that we needed to abstain for the month because the risk for multiples was too high.  Total devastation.  Had this been a cycle prior to the twins, we would've triggered for sure, but after my high risk twin pregnancy and my strong desire to avoid another set of twins (sometimes I would really want another set)... I agreed that it was the best option.  However, it took us 9 follicles to get 3 eggs fertilized, so 4 follicles seems about right to get 1 egg fertilized!  This month has been full of regret.... maybe we should've ignored the doctor's orders and taken the chance.  I am just REALLY ready for the next month to start! 

It is currently CD27, not sure what DPO since I basically took this whole month off of even thinking about it.  There is a slight chance of pregnancy since we did have sex the night before my CD12 ultrasound, so there was likely sperm still living when I ovulated... wouldn't that be something!?!  Things like that don't happen to me, so I am not holding my breath.  Just hoping I can get in on Friday to get my baseline ultrasound and get the next month started.  I need to feel like we are back on track.   

On a positive note, I reached my deductible for my insurance so everything has been 100% covered since April!!  YAY!!  So glad I have Wellmark BCBS insurance an they cover all fertility treatments up to an insemination!  The only blessing here. 


Will update if some total miracle happens in the next couple days!