Monday, March 30, 2015

CD17... 1dpo

I received a message from my doctor this morning and they put orders in for me to go in on Wednesday (4/1) to have my progesterone levels checked and then will start the suppositories that evening.  It is the day after ovulation, so the plan is to BD tonight and tomorrow night... and then pray!

My OvaCue readings remained elevated this evening, indicating the progesterone dominance that occurs after ovulation occurs. 

And the 2ww begins... ugh.  These two weeks are always filled with doubt, uncertainty and anxiety.  I know that we did all we could do this month.  I am just really crossing my fingers that it was enough!

Sunday, March 29, 2015

CD16.... some clarity!

Alright...  After my last post, the ovulation pains I was having got worse.  I took another OPK at 7pm and it was negative indicating that my surge was done.  I took my OvaCue reading and it increased drastically - populating a purple box and indicating that ovulation occurred today.  Um duh... I felt like my ovary was going to explode.  Intercourse at the exact time of ovulation is incredibly painful for me... check that off of things to do today.  I must have a very short surge, which would be why I typically always miss it when I only do 1 test/day.  Let's face it... taking that many tests a day gets expensive... especially when you never get a positive.   

After looking at my OvaCue chart and knowing that there were two follicles, I do question if I actually ovulated twice?!  On Friday, I had ovulation pains on my right side and the monitor indicated ovulation... then I have the same thing today on the left side.  Makes me wonder!!

I am going to send a message to the doctor this evening.  I believe I need to have blood drawn and start progesterone on Wednesday.  Not looking forward to that! 

On another note... I just spend 48 hours without my kiddos and it was so needed!!   It has been way too long since my hubby and I have been able to spend some uninterrupted time together.  We got to sleep in, eat meals together, watch movies and really just relax!  It is crazy how much you get into the daily grind and just forget about nurturing your relationship!  Two 2-year olds is busy!!  It was so much fun to see their faces when they answered the door and saw us.  They are too sweet and I just wanted to squeeze them!  My heart is so full!!  It is funny how crazy they get after just a couple days with grandparents... totally spoiled!  Looking forward to spending all day tomorrow with them!!  LOVE!!!

CD16.... totally confused.

Confused.... so confused.

I took an OPK this morning at 10am and it was definitely a positive.  That would indicate that ovulation should happen in the next 36hrs-ish... likely tomorrow sometime?!  That would make it CD17.  Hmmm.  That would be an extremely late ovulation for a 28 day cycle.  Which I guess should be possible since I struggle with progesterone in my luteal phase. 

I am interested to see what my vaginal readings do this evening.  If they rise again tonight then a purple box will populate.  We'll see.  It is possible that I could still ovulate this evening or tomorrow... which would coincide with my OPK and my OvaCue. 

When we BDed last night, my cervix/ovaries were very tender, and as I sit here writing this I am having some definite ovulation twinges....  I HAVE NO IDEA!!!  For having such a regular cycle... this is frustrating!!  No matter what, I am going to send my nurse/PA all of this information after I take my reading this evening and ask for a blood draw tomorrow.  I need to start the progesterone three days after ovulation, so if  I ovulated on Friday then I need to start the progesterone on Monday.  If my blood work doesn't indicate ovulation, then we can go from there.  I just REALLY want to get the timing of the progesterone right.  I feel like we have had perfect timing, but ovulation needs to happen soon... I love my hubby, but I am exhausted ;)  HA!

 

Saturday, March 28, 2015

CD15... OvaCue update

I did another OPK at 7pm tonight and got another ALMOST positive.  I took my vaginal OvaCue reading and my reading dropped again, indicating that I did not ovulate with the pink box.  If ovulation had been successful, we would've expected to see my readings remain elevated after the pink box.  I would expect to get a purple box in the next couple days to confirm ovulation!    

Since I haven't gotten a strong positive OPK, I am not sure when ovulation will occur.  It typically occurs 12-48 hours after a positive, with the average being 36 hours. It will be interesting to see what the OPK shows in the morning and what my vaginal readings are tomorrow evening.



In the meantime... we will continue to enjoy our anniversary ;) 

CD15.... positive?!

I took another OPK at 3pm... Definitely so close to my surge.  I will take another test and my OvaCue reading at 7pm to see where we are at!  Here is a picture comparing the two... In person it is ever so slightly lighter.

CD15... HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!

This post is going to be quick because my hubby and I are out of town celebrating our 4 year wedding anniversary.  It is the first time that we have been away from the together for way over a year!!  We kept it really low key and are spending the weekend at my parent's lake cabin while the kids spend time with their Nana and Papa.  It is a much needed vacation and the timing couldn't be more perfect!! 

I have been doing OPKs 2x/day 10am and 7pm in hopes that I won't miss my surge.  I haven't ever gotten a positive OPK, so I am going off the recommendation of my nurse.  I have always read that 2pm is the ideal time to test in order to catch the surge, but that hasn't worked in the past.  I have been getting a very faint line with my tests at 10am for the past couple days, but there is no line present on any of my evening tests.  I was pretty sure I had missed my surge.  Then this afternoon... a definitely darker line than before.  Hmmm......  so confused!  So I did my OvaCue readings and got even more confused!!

I saw my reading drop on CD13, which indicated that ovulation should be approaching (a decrease in estrogen production).  Last night I also had an increase in my vaginal reading, which populated the pink box and indicated that ovulation had occurred (the change to progesterone dominance).  Since I haven't gotten a positive OPK and my cervical mucous was definitely still fertile (egg white, clear, stretchy)... indicating that it is possible that ovulatin hasn't occurred!  Ugh!!

After my darker OPK line this morning, I will take another one this afternoon and this evening just to be sure.  I am really interested to take my OvaCue reading this evening because I am anticipating it to drop again... which would then generate a purple box.  I am not worried about the timing of intercourse because we couldn't time it any better - I am glad that the timing of this is over some days that we are our of town and away from the kids.  I am more wanting to make sure I pinpoint ovulation so I can start the progesterone on the right day.

Here is a pic of the OPK today at 10am:


Wonder what the day will bring!

Thursday, March 26, 2015

CD13... Change of plans

Update from yesterday that I apparently didn't publish...  
I went in for my CD12 ultrasound this morning and left with a different plan for the month.  First of all, I forgot how much fun transvaginal ultrasounds are... especially mid-cycle when you can only use a little water for lubrication.  The ultrasound tech wasn't overly talkative, which just makes things more awkward.  They got a couple new techs since I was at the office last.  The usual lady has some random conversations, but also tells me what she is looking at and seeing.  This one was just done in awkward silence.  She check my uterine lining and it was 7.84mm thick, which is great.  They want it to be >7mm to support implantation.  Ovulation seems to be a couple days away, so it should continue to thicken.  When she moved onto my right ovary, I was excited to see a large follicle - 14mm.  She moved over to my left ovary and I was floored to see another large follicle - 16mm?!  The minute I saw that there were two dominant follicles, I knew I needed to think this through!  This is what I was trying to avoid by not taking clomid or femara.  Hmmm... I talked with the NP and discussed the options.  We could do the trigger shot tomorrow and hope that the smaller follicle wouldn't release a mature egg (or wouldn't fertilize).  If I only had one follicle, they would wait to trigger for a couple days.  My fear with doing the trigger shot is that it helps with the final maturation, so it would help push both follicles to release... eek!!  So the plan (as of right now) is to wait for ovulation to be suspected/confirmed and then supplement with progesterone. 

I wasn't so sure about the plan so I sent a message to the NP asking her to run my scans by the doc... we shall see how she responds!!

Update TODAY... CD13!
I received her response and she basically said that my chances of releasing two eggs is similar with or without the trigger shot.  She recommended doing the trigger shot today in order to further help with timing both intercourse and when starting the progesterone.  I thought about it all last night and this morning and decided that I want to take the path of least regret.  I know I am going to ovulate, and if we naturally get twins then that is what is meant to be... if we do the trigger and had twins then I would always feel guilty.  I feel really good about this cycle and I am totally comfortable pinpointing ovulation.  Maybe it is because I know what is going on inside my body.  I know there are follicles waiting for ovulation and that my lining is ready.  I also feel at ease knowing that I will have enough progesterone to support implantation!  I am ready to kick this cycle's butt!!

I have been doing OPKs 2x/day since Monday.  I got a very faint line today... so the surge is coming!  It couldn't be more perfect timing as we head out of town for the first time in a LONG time without the twins.  WHAT?!?!  I don't know if we will even know what to do with ourselves.  It is a much needed getaway and I am incredibly excited! 

So... I am going to continue to take OPKs and my OvaCue readings.  I am supposed to call the RE when I get my LH surge.  They will have me come in to check my progesterone levels 4-5 days after my surge to confirm ovulation and then begin the suppositories. 

I think this is a good plan...

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

CD11...

I have my mid-cycle ultrasound tomorrow to see how my follicles are growing.  Hoping for one dominant follicle that is ready for the trigger shot!  I have been doing OPKs and my OvaCue readings and neither show signs of ovulation before tomorrow... Phew!! 

Updates coming tomorrow!

Friday, March 20, 2015

So thankful... So emotional...

Today was a day filled with announcements, ultrasounds (not mine) and pangs of jealousy and sadness.  A fellow twin mom announced her "surprise" pregnancy turned out to be another set of twins, a friend sent her picture of her unexpected and unplanned 11 wk ultrasound and another friend is in labor.  All of the above I am sincerely happy for... Sincerely!  I do wish I could experience that unexpected surprise or that first ultrasound that isn't filled with extreme worry that something is wrong.  I am not jealous of the babies they are having... I have been blessed with two beautiful children!  I am, however, jealous of how easy and carefree the process is for them!  I want the experience of having sex with someone you love and then finding out you are pregnant when you all of a sudden realize it has been awhile since you have had your last period.  Then scheduling your first ultrasound and there is a beautiful fetus with a strong heartbeat!  I just want something to be easy.  Just once.  I thought I had that, but it ended in heartache.  I know this is all my story and when all is said and done, I will tell my story with pride for how strong it has made me.... but right now, all I feel is weak.  I went into the twins' room and held their hands and just looked at them.... They remind me every day why I put myself through this.  It is so worth the wait and I will continue to be strong...  This is our story.

CD6...

The mail order pharmacy called today and the Endometrin (progesterone suppositories - that are apparently so much better than the ones I had last time) are not a specialty drug that needs to be called in and the trigger shot is not a drug that is covered by my plan and will need to be paid for out of pocket... ugh.  I can't complain since all of my office visits and ultrasounds are covered.  $150/ month is a very minimal cost considering what it could be costing me!  It can still come out of my HSA, so at least it isn't an additional expense that we need to budget for.  I talked to the nurse today and the Novarel trigger is the cheapest, but apparently there is a national shortage so they reserve that for the couples doing IVF because that is  drug they have to have.  I am super relieved that I can easily get all of the prescriptions I need instead of having to a mail order them.

I have been taking my OvaCue reading this month and it will be interesting to see how they correlate to my midcycle monitoring.  From past experience and what I know about the OvaCue, the trigger shot and suppositories will impact the results.  I am using it alongside OPKs (starting Monday) to make sure we do not miss ovulation prior to my mid-cycle monitoring. 

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

CD4.... RE appointment update

The appointment I have been dreading for a month because I didn't want to go in and have to do everything over and start from scratch, is over and it couldn't have gone better!  Many things have changed in our RE's office since we were their trying to get pregnant with the twins.  There is now a second RE in the practice.  The RE we saw, Dr. H, was ok.  There were things I liked and things I didn't.  I felt like he was incredibly knowledgeable, but he was difficult to talk to and I didn't like his bedside manner.  This time around, I made our appointment with the new female doctor, Dr. V.  I LOVE her!!  I felt like she really listened to me and was on the exact same page as me!!  Needless to say, I am in a good place... frustrated that we are here, but in a good place.  I will start from the beginning....

I got AF on Friday evening.  Since it was after 5, CD1 is technically Saturday.  I went in on Monday, CD3 for a baseline ultrasound and bloodwork.  Everything came back in the normal range for my bloodwork (I posted my actual results on my history page) and I have 20 follicles in each ovary!  Whew!  There are still a lot of follies in there :) 

We went over all of the results and she said that everything appears to be normal at this point in my cycle according to my blood work and ultrasound.  We talked about the spotting I have before and after my period and it could be indicative of low progesterone during my luteal phase, but it is hard to know.  I explained my concern that I have been pregnant three times and the only time I have had a successful pregnancy was when I was on progesterone suppositories after ovulation.  She definitely felt like the progesterone was a must.  Without me even having to tell her, she expressed her concerns with using clomid or femara to stimulate the ovaries due to my previous high risk pregnancy and wanting to prevent another set of twins.  She asked me what my thoughts were... seriously?!  I LOVE that she asked me that!  I have a say in my course of treatment... that felt great.  I told her that I would really like to do a couple monitored NATURAL cycles with the trigger shot (because I know that we need perfect timing) and progesterone.  She said, "I love that, I think that is perfect".  That was amazing to hear.  That is our plan!  YAY!!   If we don't get pregnant after 2-3 of these cycles, we will look at adding a very small dose of clomid.  I know this way might take longer, but this is what feels right for me.  I am so extremely excited.  I have to look back at my previous posts from the month I got pregnant with the twins to get the timing of sex with the trigger shot down.  My amazing nurse, Jess, knew that I always needed specific times so now begins the research to make this cycle perfect!  What is even more fun.... ovulation should be on our anniversary ;)  How perfect. 

She wants me to start taking OPKs on Monday (CD10) to make sure we don't miss ovulation.  Should be interesting since I haven't ever been able to get them to work!  Grrr.  I will be doing them 2x/day since I only have to do them M, T and W because I have our CD12 ultrasound on Wednesday and will be able to see where we are at in the cycle.  I will also be using my OvaCue to see how that correlates to the ultrasounds and ovulation, etc. 

For now... I continue to take my prenatal vitamins, drink water, eat healthy and wait a week.  

CD4.... RE appointment.

Sitting in the RE's office waiting to get my results from yesterday's ultrasound and bloodwork and to hopefully figure out a conservative course of treatment to get this baby making business on the right track!!

Update to come as soon as I know more....

Friday, March 13, 2015

CD27... or... CD1... Hmmmm.

I was supposed to have my CD2 ultrasound and bloodwork this morning, but AF was pretty much non-existent other than some incredibly light spotting.   I called the RE's office and rescheduled for Monday and just hoped that the timing will work out ok.  I anticipated getting AF tomorrow on CD28... but instead she came this evening in all of her painful glory.  This might sound incredibly stupid, but I have been researching how to actually count your days... So is this still CD27 or does it become CD1.  I have read so many conflicting things.  If AF starts before noon, then it is CD1... after noon it is the last CD of the month.  Hmmm.... I've never really thought about it before!  I have always just counted whatever day AF starts as CD1.  Oh well!  Either way, I'm getting exactly what I want... to get answers right away.  I will have the ultrasound on Monday and our initial appointment on Tuesday!! 

I talked with the hubby a little more in depth about treatments and he is freaked!  He doesn't have the needs that I do to continue to grow our family, but definitely understands my desires.  Don't get me wrong, we agree that we are not done with our family, but he doesn't feel the same urgency as I do.  He never has... oh, to be a man!  Then he thinks about the fact that it will likely be over a year before we ever bring a newborn into this family... and he agrees that it is time we start seeking help again.  So super frustrating.  Why are we here again?!  Why can't this be easier?!

Answers are coming.....

Thursday, March 12, 2015

CD1?? Maybe... maybe not!

Okay, so a lot has happened this month... or not.  Let me back up.... 

I forgot my OvaCue on my trip so was blindly navigating this month.  Last month was a 30 day cycle, so I was planning on about the same this month.  CD14 came and I had definite ovuatlation pains.  I was planning this, so timing should've been perfect.  Then CD16 arrived and definite ovulation pains then as well.  Still BDing just in case, so timing should've been good then as well.  Fast forward to CD23 and I had my OB call in an order for a progesterone blood draw to see if my levels indicated ovulation.  CD21 would've been ideal, but I didn't think about it soon enough and it fell on a Saturday, so had to wait.  I figured something is better than nothing.  I have my initial appointment with our RE next Wednesday and I wanted to have some information.  The results came back for CD24 and it was 6.8.  On the lower end of normal, but was likely dropping since it is 3 days later than ideal.  However....

A progesterone blood draw and a HPT (I had one lying around) is the best way to bring on AF.  Last night (CD25) I noticed some super light spotting and this morning was enough that I needed to use a tampon (sorry... TMI).  I was hoping my appointment with my RE landed on CD1-3 so we could take advantage of this cycle.  Since AF came early (I thought), I called the RE's office today and let them know the situation and my concern.   I hate wasting months!  The RE called in all of the initial bloodwork as well as a baseline ultrasound.  I am so excited that we can utilize this month.  However, as soon as she called that in AF STOPPED?!?!  Of course it did. 

I have an ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow morning at 8:50.  However, if AF hasn't actually started by that time tomorrow then I guess I will call in the morning and reschedule it for Monday.  Seriously, this is annoying. 

I was extremely annoyed that they made me fill out the piles of paperwork, the semen analysis, the genetic counseling and the initial appointment.  I have done my planning and we are going to refuse the semen analysis and the genetic counseling.  I don't see a need.  I understand that the semen analysis would impact treatment if we were still trying for baby #1 or #2, as opposed to #3.  We know that there might be issues with the morphology, but we are doing the same things we did before to improve that.  Otherwise, we know that it comes down to timing.  We wont' do anything more than monitored cycles, the trigger shot and progesterone.  I am incredibly hesitant to take Clomid or Femara this time around because I want to be as conservative as possible and keep the risk of twins as low as possible.  I have been trying to research and see if monitoring and a trigger shot are ever done without ovulation inducing medications.  Hmm... I guess we shall see!!!

The one time I will say this... Praying AF comes tonight so I can keep the appointment for tomorrow. 

 

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

2dpo...... the wait begins.

Trying after this many months sucks.  Waiting sucks.  There isn't much else to say today.