Sunday, April 26, 2015

2dpo... and it starts to get confusing!!

CD 16... 2dpo

I got the trigger shot at 7pm on Wednesday night and BDed Wednesay, Thursday and Friday evening.  In the past, I have ovulated almost exactly 36 hours after the trigger shot, which would mean that ovulation occurred on Friday morning, CD14.  With trigger shots in the past, I have had ovulation pains 36 hours after the shot so that I knew timing was right.  I am a little concerned because I didn't have any ovulation pains on Friday.  I did have some cervical tenderness when we BDed that evening, but I didn't have the typical ovulation pains.  On Saturday morning/afternoon (1dpo... I think), I started having some mild cramping.  Now I am freaked that the trigger shot didn't work and I ovulated late... meaning all of our timing was off... ugh.  I am still having lots of cramping off and on today, feel bloated, my boobs are sore and I am an emotional/moody mess.  Nothing like having a bunch of pregnancy hormones running through your veins and not actually being pregnant!  I went back and looked at my posts the month I got pregnant with the twins and I wrote about some of these safe feelings.  So... hopefully this is all normal after the trigger shot and everything happened exactly as it was supposed to.  If we don't get pregnant this month, I am going to talk to the RE about making absolutely positive that I am responding correctly to the Ovidrel.  I am just a little concerned that I didn't ovulate like I should have.  Why can't anything ever work perfectly... oh yeah,... that is why I am here in the first place!  Things don't go easily or smoothly for me! 

I started the progesterone suppositories this morning... ugh.  I like the compound so much better than the Endometrum.  It is a little more discharge, but at least it isn't all day long.

I can officially test on May 8th (CD28, 14dpo).  I will probably test 10dpo to make sure the HCG is out of my system and then 12dpo (May 6).  Only 10 days left... HA!  I am going to try to let this 2ww go by without getting too caught up in it.  Hoping it goes really fast... and ends well. 

Friday, April 24, 2015

CD13.... Rest up little spermies!

My hubby gave me my Ovidrel (trigger shot) injection last night at 7pm.  I am not afraid of needles at all, but I forgot how nervous it makes me to let him inject a super tiny needle into my tummy fat... Which I have extra of since I had the twins!  I am freaking out and convinced that the trigger shot isn't going to work.  I guess I could always take a pregnancy test tomorrow and make sure it was active medication.  In the last I have ovulated almost exactly 36hours after the injection, so hopefully I will have some ovulation pain in the morning.  We were instructed to BD last night, tonight and tomorrow night.  We have obeyed so far... Ha!  Every time at this point in the month I think it is so weird that there are little spermies just waiting to fertilize an egg... for up to 7 days!  I always go back to the visual of them just furiously trying to fertilize an egg but they can't... Ugh.  Hopefully they are resting up and getting ready.  This is the month... Get with the program!

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

CD12... Mid-cycle ultrasound

OK... I haven't posted an update since 10dpo.  No big news... obviously.  It was a stressful month and my cycle was exactly 28 days long.  The progesterone seems to have done its job and I didn't have any spotting prior to AF starting.  It was a more normal flow and length this month, so hopefully that is a good sign.  I am ready for this month.  I haven't been taking my OvaCue readings this month.  They get a little messed up with the trigger shot, so I am taking this month off from monitoring.   

I got to skip a baseline ultrasound since I'm not doing any medication and I just had my midcycle ultrasound today.  I am currently on CD12... yes, CD12.  Time has gone ridiculously fast since I last posted.  Why is that?!  How does 12 days go by so fast prior to ovulation and drags on and on once ovulation occurs.  I am determined this month to WAIT until at least 12dpo to test... HA!!  

My ultrasound this morning went great!  When the tech started my ultrasound I could tell that she used a lubricant on the transducer.  The minute she looked at my uterus she asked where I am at in my cycle... WHAT?!  You don't know exactly where I am at?!   How do you know what you are supposed to be looking for?!  I knew the minute I felt the lubricant that she didn't know.  They never use lubricant mid-cycle.  Ugh.  She didn't say anything to me, but I made sure to ask the NP about it.  Anyways.... the good deets....

My lining looks absolutely perfect.  It measured 9.1mm thick and was trilaminar!  Anything over 7mm is great.  I have one follicle on the right side that measured 20mm and NO follicles on the left.  Phew.  It makes it so much easier to go forward with only one mature follicle.  It is crazy how different my two cycles have been.  Last month at this point my two follicles were only 14mm and 16mm.  My follicle is much further along this month, which might be because my body is only busy maturing one follicle.  I am pumped.  The NP was really excited to see how great everything looked, especially for not being on any meds.  This does make me worried that my hubby's morphology issues are playing more of a role in our infertility than he wants to believe.  It doesn't change anything because we won't do more than we are right now.  I am going to make sure he continues to take his FertilityBlend and make sure we continue to do whatever we can!  It is just going to take time.  We have gotten pregnant three times, so I know it can happen... we just need to be patient.  I am creating as perfect of an environment as I can.  Now I just need to get a little bean to stick. 

I picked up my ovidrel from the pharmacy and have instructions to do the shot this evening.  We are supposed to BD this evening and the next two nights.  So... here we go! 

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

10dpo.... Dying to test!

It has been a pretty hectic week, so time has gone pretty fast.  J didn't continue to throw up, but by Friday he was extremely lethargic.  I took him in to Urgent Care that evening and they sent me home to try and push fluids.  By Saturday morning, I had had enough so we took him into the ER.  He was admitted to the hospital because his blood work levels were all in the critical range.  It was the scariest thing I have ever had to do.  We got released on Sunday afternoon and he is pretty much back to normal.  Not sure what cause him to get so dehydrated, but now I know to push more for whatever my gut tells me.  The doctor never should've sent us home on Friday night... we should've been sent right to the ER or at least she should've done some blood work.

I am currently 10 dpo.  I have some symptoms, but who knows if they are from the progesterone, PMS or actual pregnancy symptoms.  I am exhausted, have a lot of gas and constipation, my tummy feels like it has butterflies in it and is upset at times... and I am incredibly irritable... let's just say hormonal ;)  I hate to read too much into it.  I tested positive with the twins at 11dpo, so I could test tomorrow.  However, I was pregnant with 3 babies!  That is a lot of HCG, so of course I would test positive early.  Let's be honest, I picked up some tests today and will probably test every morning until I get my period!  HA!  It is currently CD26 today and I am interested to see how long this cycle will be if I'm not pregnant since I ovulated so late.   My typical cycles have been 28 days long (with a random 30 day in there), which would put me at getting my period on Friday at only 12 dpo.  A typical LP is 14 days, which would put this cycle at 30 days and my period would come on Sunday.  Very anxious for these days to pass!  I typically spot 2-3 days prior to my period so with a period that starts on Sunday, I should start to spot on Friday... not sure how my body will respond since I am on progesterone supplementation! 

Speaking of progesterone supplementation.... The RE prescribed Endometrin for my progesterone supplementation this cycle.  It is more of a pill form with an applicator.  She said that people preferred it because it doesn't have the same amount of discharge.  Ummm.... I hate it!  I feel like it is more a matter of which kind of discharge/leakage you prefer.  The Endometrin doesn't have the initial leakage upon insertion, but about 8 hours later it is a watery, creamy, chalky discharge.  Disgusting.  With the compound progesterone that has to be in the fridge, the leakage is immediate.  You insert it, lay/sit down for 15-30 minutes and there is some discharge for an hour.  Then it is done.  I would prefer that... I can't handle constant discharge all day and constantly feeling like I want to take a shower or change my underwear!  With the Endometrin, I felt like I needed to wear a pad all day long, as opposed to an hour a day!  I did like that there is an applicator with the Endometrin as opposed to inserting it manually.  The compound progesterone tends to be a little more irritating, but at this point it is about comfort!  I messaged my RE and they prescribed the compound suppositories for the rest of this month.  Sometimes change is hard...

Can't wait to take a test!!!

Thursday, April 2, 2015

4dpo....

Today someone asked me if I was happy with my decision to stay home with my kids... I can't even begin to explain to someone how I feel about this decision.  Now that I am home with them every day, I realize just how much of their little lives I have already missed!  I wanted to have babies all my life and for 2 years I only spent a couple hours every day with them and spent the time I was with them thinking about all the stuff that needed to be done at work.  I have some very real feelings of regret and anxiety when I think about all of the moments and memories that have passed us by.  I am so excited... ok, hopeful... that it will be different with the next one.  My mom came over while the twins napped today so I could go get our taxes done.  I came home and B, my daughter, was awake.  We chatted a little and then we heard J, my son, coughing/gagging in his crib.  I went in to get him and he threw up on my shoulder and then all over his crib.  My mom graciously took B with her to run errands and grab some dinner so I could clean up, give J a bath and then snuggle a little bit.  I was so relieved that I could really devote some personal time to him.  It is sooooo rare that either of them get any one-on-one time.  We took a bath and snuggled while watching a movie.  It was heaven.  It is in those moments that I feel a huge range of emotions.  Having one little one is so much simpler, but I also feel bad that they don't have anyone to play with!  I absolutely cherish those moments when I can devote 100% of my attention and affection to each one individually.  I feel bad that they always have to share me. 

I stopped taking my OvaCue readings.  Since I am taking the progesterone suppositories, I know that the hormones in my luteal phase are just fine.  Also, these suppositories seem to create the most discharge about 8 hours after inserting them, so I don't feel like they would be accurate anyway.  There is sufficient progesterone at the uterus, so I'm not concerned about that.  Now it is just the wait... and wait... and wait!  I am going to try not to test as long as possible, but who knows... maybe another week... ha!

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

3dpo.... looking good ;)

We had a fun day today.  It is so nice that it is getting warmer outside so we don't have to rush in and out of every building or store.  We can take our time and run errands.  We went to the lab to get blood work drawn, visited some old co-workers and had lunch with a friend.  It was the best!

I had my 3dpo blood work drawn today to make sure it is the right time to start the progesterone suppositories.  My progesterone levels came back at 15.7.  Yay!!  They are happy with anything over 15... phew!!  Hopefully this is just the beginning of the good news for this cycle.  

I started the Endometrin progesterone suppositories this evening.  They are so much different than the ones I have used in the past.  The ones I have previously used were a compound.  I had to keep them cold in the fridge, I had to insert them with my finger and they just oozed out as they melted... GROSS.  These are more of a pill consistency.  They are about the size of a quarter, solid and they come with an applicator.  So much simpler!!

Thinking good thoughts...