Thursday, June 28, 2012

Change in plans........TWINS!

8w0d..........

We had our second ultrasound today, but the first with our new high-risk OB. We got to the office and I was so nervous. I didn't know how the appointment was going to go and didn't know what to expect from the ultrasound. We did the typical question and answer with the new nurses and then were taken back to the ultrasound room. We waited about 5 loooong minutes for the ultrasound tech to come in and she dove right in.....

Her first order of business was to get oriented and locate all 3 sacs. From the very beginning, Babies A and B were very large and Baby C seemed smaller than last week. I knew in my heart, I knew that we had lost Baby C... another angel baby watching over us... never in our arms, but forever in our hearts!  In that moment, I felt a conflict of emotions - sadness and relief. The u/s tech tried to get a good image to measure Baby C and get its heartbeat. It was tiny, we could no longer see a fetal pole, and there was no longer any blood flow. We took our moment and then realized that Baby C wasn't healthy. God made our tough decision for us... he must have a different plan.

So..... TWINS! We are now officially pregnant with twins. Two healthy little babies!!

Here they are..................


If you compare this to last weeks u/s, she labeled the babies opposite this week. Every technician is different and apparently it depends on how they present themselves.

Baby A (was Baby B last week).........

Baby B (was Baby A last week)..........



We heard the heartbeats today... I cried. It was beautiful!

After the u/s, we waited way too long to talk to our new doctor, but apparently things are moving very slowly as they transition to the new electronic medical records. The doctor was nice. He has a very dry sense of humor, which my hubby LOVED. I think they will get along just great! My hubby says he reminds him of the chinese doctor on the movie "Knocked Up" (which, ironically, is on E! right now!). He did an abdominal ultasound just to take one more look at Baby C. He confirmed what we already knew, and asked us, "So... are you ready for twins?"... my hubby replied, "More ready for twins than triplets!" We had a laugh! He talked with us about staying with them throughout the entire pregnancy. Since we are carrying twins, we have the option to see a regular OB and just see him at certain points in the cycle. I don't have a regular OB/GYN since I had to change hospitals with my new job, so I haven't established a relationship with another doctor. I feel more comfortable continuing with him all the way through delivery since he is used to monitoring pregnancies with multiple babies!

He talked with us about our next appointment. We go back in three weeks... we will be 11 weeks along. At this appointment is when they do the first trimester screen. They do bloodwork and 4D ultrasounds! If anything else, I am sooo excited for the 4D ultrasound scans! The First Trimester Screen screens for down syndrome, trisomy 18 and heart defects. It is covered by insurance, so we are going to do the screening. We aren't at risk, but it hopefully will give us a piece of mind that everyone is completely healthy! Another 3 weeks to wait..........

After the appointment, I called my favorite nurse with my RE's office to give her an update. She was so relieved to hear that everything worked its way out so we could have the best chance for healthy babies at the end of this pregnancy. She agreed that the First Trimester Screen is a great screening tool and it does give some great information. I love her!! She told me to stop in after our appointment in 3 weeks and show them all our u/s pics... they have sadly become like family! I guess, they tried as hard as we did.... the nurses in that office invest so much of themselves in their patients. I will miss them!

Both babies have strong heartbeats and are growing like champs! We are so blessed. It feels weird to be relieved that we are having twins. Most people would be freaked out, but we are ecstatic! We are both so happy that everything worked out in a way that will be the healthiest for me and the babies.

After seeing the babies today, we are starting to feel comfortable sharing our news with more of our extended family. At this point, everyone would know if something happened with the pregnancy, so we might as well let them share in the excitement! Not sure how we are going to fill them in on the news, but I'll be sure to blog all about it!


I can't believe this is FINALLY happening for us..... just when I had given up......












Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Much needed relaxation = MIA!

First of all... I want to thank all of you who commented on my last post and showed your support.  Your kind words and supportive comments touched me more deeply than you will ever know.  I appreciate you all.........

7w5d..........

It has been a week since our first ultrasound and our world was completely flipped upside down!  After our ultrasound last week, my hubby left with my dad for a week long fishing trip and I went up to our lake cabin with my mom to get some much needed relaxation.  I think we both needed some time to let everything sink in.  As a result, I haven't blogged in a week! 

There isn't much to catch you up on.  I have been feeling pretty good overall... much better than I could be feeling.  I've been pretty nauseous in the mornings, which is usually cured with something to eat.  However, I've also been really nauseous at night and don't sleep very well, which contributes to my total exhaustion.  I rarely miss an afternoon nap.  I have found that I am less nauseous in the evenings if I take a nap.  I missed my nap a couple times and I am so tired by the time I get to go to bed that I can't sleep.  I'm still having huge aversions to chunks of meat (chicken breasts, pork loin, hamburger, etc) and vegetables.  I'm frustrated with that because I feel like I'm not eating as healthy as I should be.  The doctors just told me to eat what makes me feel good and be sure to take my prenatals and the extra folic acid.  Sadly, I've been craving toaster strudels, fruit loops, PB&J, apples, grapes, pickles, yogurt, crackers/cheese.... I guess that is what I craved today..... tomorrow could be totally different!  I can only do as well as my tummy will let me!

We have our next ultrasound appointment on Thursday with our maternal-fetal medicine OB (high-risk OB).  We will be 8weeks along.  I am so anxious to have another ultrasound and see how everything is doing.  It will be a relief to finally get to talk to the doctor about all of our questions, concerns, risks, and options.  I am so nervous to hear our options and make decisions, but I know we need to do what is best for my health and the health of the entire pregnancy.  I just dread that decision...

This is a crazy journey, but it is our story....

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Surprise!!!

6w5d........... (according to the nurse today, I was a day off)

It took me a long time to get home and have time to post today.  I've been anxious to post all day and fill you in on our ultrasound, but I had a busy day... and am exhausted.  Here is the day in rewind...

I couldn't fall asleep last night.  I tossed and turned and was nauseous all night long.  I think I might have slept about 3 hours total.  Morning came and I was able to wake up, shower and get myself together.  My hubby and I drove to the doctor's office and my heart was beating out of my chest.  He just kept reassuring me that everything was going to be ok.  After what seemed like the longest car ride ever, we finally got to the RE's office.  We checked in and I went to sit in the normal place that I sit and my hubby refused to sit there since it obviously wasn't good luck for us last time.  I never knew he was so superstitious.  We waited about 15 minutes for our the ultrasound tech to call us back.  She took my weight, I emptied my bladder and then changed.  I couldn't breathe.  I just wanted to see what was in there!  She told me that according to my HCG shot, we would expect to see a fetus that measures at 6w5d.  I was off a day!  She started the ultrasound and we saw one beautiful sac with an obvious flicker of a heartbeat.  We both gasped and I started to cry.  Then I asked, "How many heartbeats are there?".... she said she couldn't tell yet, but we would know shortly. 

She calmly asked, "How many do you want?"...... and this image froze on the screen........... TRIPLETS??


Then she started labeling the babies, measuring size and heartbeats.... Here they are.....

Baby A is on my left side, measure 7wks and has a heartbeat at 138bpm....  Strong!




 Baby B is on my right side, measures 6w5d and has a heartbeat at 128bpm...  Strong!



Baby C is at the top of the uterus, measures 6w3d and has a heartbeat at 112bpm... The weakest of the 3.

Baby C is at the very top of my uterus and is the furthest away from the transvaginal ultrasound transducer so the measurements may be a little off since it is so far away.  The ultrasound went so fast that we didn't even have time to process it.  We just knew that with three babies comes a lot of risks and a lot of tough decisions.  Aside from that, we were beyond excited that we had some very healthy little heartbeats! 

The nurse led us to a room, as we were both walking around like zombies in total shock!  We had about 20 minutes to fester before we got to meet with the RE.  He came in and he was speechless.  Statistically, this shouldn't have been possible.  Twins was always a possibility, but triplets was highly unlikely.  I guess we became fertile mertile in one month.  Apparently my hubby's sperm were terrified of IVF so they got busy! 

The RE told us that we were being released to the high-risk fetal and maternal medicine doctor and would be monitored on a weekly basis and increased my folic acid up to 1000mcg in addition to my prenatl.  He informed us of the risks of carrying a triplet pregnancy and the options of selective reduction... pros and cons of both.  The tough decisions begin.  When we started fertility treatments, we were aware of the possibilities and had to be ok making these impossible decisions.  The nurse told me today that they have had very few successful outcomes with people who carry triplet pregnancies.  They just had one deliver over the weekend at 23 weeks and they lost all 3 babies.  That would be totally devastating.  I absolutely could NOT handle that. 

We will talk with the high-risk OB at our appointment next Thursdsay.  It is possible that one of the babies could naturally miscarry in the next couple weeks.  However, if it doesn't, we will be faced with the decision to selectively reduce.  It is a horrible option to think about because we have tried so hard to get pregnant.  and nobody wanted this more than I do. I know that the decision that is right for us will offend some people, but I have to do what will be the healthiest outcome for me and my babies.  Until you are faced with these options, you can't judge. It breaks my heart. We are starting to tell the rest of our family that we are pregnant, but we aren't telling anyone but our parents about how many we have. We need to face these decisions on our own and we do not need the outside influence of people judging us.

For now, I am just going to enjoy the fact that everything went well.  It is the strangest feeling to be walking around with three little beans in my belly! 

My hubby left after our appointment to go on his yearly week long fishing trip to Montana.  I think it will be a good release for him to let everything sink in.  My dad is heading out tomorrow with some other guys to meet up with my hubby.  While they are gone, I'm heading up to the lake tomorrow to spend the rest of the week and weekend with my mom just relaxing and napping.  I see now why I am so extremely tired!

Monday, June 18, 2012

So close, yet sooooo far away !

6w3d..........

We only have hours left until our first ultrasounds and time seems to be crawling!! I absolutely cannot wait any longer. My emotions fluctuate from excited to nervous to anxious. I'm dying to know why is going on inside of me. I just pray that everything looks great and we can see the little flicker of a heartbeat tomorrow.

My hubby got his first Father's Day present yesterday... A gun safe! What a lucky guy?!?! He's a big hunter, so we have lots of guns around the house. We need to get all the guns somewhere safe before sprout comes along!!! I think I surprised him with this gift. He had a huge smile on his face when I wished him a happy Father's day. He was so proud. Can't wait to celebrate next year with our little one!

I am exhausted and emotionally drained from all the worrying. I have been feeling nauseous for the past several days and have a huge aversion to vegetables and chunks of meat. I just have NOT been feeling well... It is all worth it. I am glad to be feeling pregnant.... I just NEED to see the little one tomorrow.

Well... I can't wait to check in tomorrow and write about the ultrasound and post some pics. I just need to go to bed so I can wake up tomorrow.....

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

1 week from today.......

5w4d..........

I spent the day today with my mom having lunch downtown, going to some cute boutiques and then antiquing around town and some nearby towns. I have been feeling pretty good over the past couple days. There is only one word for how I feel today"......... EXHAUSTED!!!!!

This is a short post because I can't stay awake.... Less than a week to go until I can see what is going on in there!

Thursday, June 7, 2012

First purchase for Sprout...

4w6d..........


We had our rummage today, so while it was slow and my MIL was here my mom and I decided to venture down to the rummage further down the block because they seemed to have lots of baby stuff out in the lawn. They had a Chicco car seat with 2 bases for only $50.... It was a great buy and the same brand as the car seat and stroller we will eventually purchase. My mom was too slow and some other lady snatched it up.... Bummer. I was more interested in the crib they had for sale. I looked at cribs when we were pregnant the first time and I just couldn't find anything reasonably priced that I liked and that didn't look cheap. I have a black bookshelf that I am going to use in the nursery and put some baskets on the shelves for blankets, toys, diapers, etc. I don't want to do all black furniture, so I wanted to do a white distressed crib, dresser/changing table and rocker. all the cribs I found that didn't look totally cheap were $400-500. They had a crib that was solid wood and originally cost about $400 new and they were selling it for $140! It is really sturdy, but is pretty beat up after using it with 2 kids. I wouldn't have even thought about buying it because it is in pretty rough shape, but I know a guy who refinishes furniture. He said it would be easy to refinish with a white distressed finish and he'd only ask $100 to do it... So I will pretty much have a brand-new crib when he's done with it! Now I need to find a dresser/changing table. I would love to find a used matching dresser so he could refinish that at the same time, but that might be a bit difficult. I think I am going to go antiquing next week to see if I could find a unique dresser and have him refinish it with the same finish and then get some cool knobs. This should be a fun adventure!!

I was so excited to purchase the crib, but it made me very nervous to plan ahead that far... I have a huge fear of jinxing it. It felt surreal to be purchasing a crib for a baby that I haven't even seen yet. I do feel so much calmer and at ease during this pregnancy, so I hope that is a great sign!

After I purchased the crib, I thought to myself, "What if there is more than one little sprout in my tummy..... I'd need another crib?!". Hmmmmm.......

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

A tid bit of new info!

I called the nurses at the RE's office today because they wanted me to check in after a couple days on the Miralax to make sure that it was relieving my discomfort. luckily, it does seem to be working and each day I am feeling a little hit more comfortable. Apparently, my bowel is probably distended, which is causing me to look like I already have a baby bump... She said that you literally have a "poop baby" at this point. Nice!! We also talked about my very high progesterone and she said there isn't anything to worry about with having extra progesterone. You can't have too much. She did fill me in on the fact that the progesterone suppositories do not get into the bloodstream, so all of the progesterone in my blood is naturally produced. It is common to see levels this high when multiple follicles are released. Nothing to worry about! I asked her how many she thought were in there from my labs and she said it is hard to tell, but twins are a definite possibility, but it isn't likely that there are more that 2 little ones growing in there... Phew!

When you get an HCG trigger shot, they base how far along you are based on when you got the shot as opposed to your last menstrual period. So, I am officially 4w5d along and will be 6w4d at my first ultrasound appt. Today is one day closer to getting to meet the little sprout/s that is/are growing inside of me. I can't wait to know how many sprouts are in there and have a peace of mind that everyone is doing just fine!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Another 2ww... Ugh!

I haven't posted in a couple days.... Every time I want to post I am exhausted and fall asleep!! Things have been going a bit better. I called the RE's office on Friday and talked to them about how uncomfortable my belly has been. They are having me take Miralax 1x/day to help keep things moving. They said it would take a couple days before I started feeling better and I really am feeling less full and gassy. My abdominal muscles are still pretty sore and I already look like I am 4 months pregnant... There isn't really a reason why my stomach should be sticking out! I am still wanting to keep this pregnancy a secret from most people, but my belly makes that a little hard. I try to suck it in, but it doesn't go anywhere and my abs are too sore... Ha!! My hubby is afraid that I'm eventually going to get as big as Jessica Simpson at this rate! I had to go out and buy some stretchy black pants since I already can't button any of my pants. I found some comfy ones at Gap, so at least I can wear some of the super cute shirts I have with them and then I have a bunch of dresses that will work for quite awhile. I'm going to have to wash often, but I think I should be set for awhile. I'm not going to lie... The extended belly so early makes me a bit nervous that there are multiple babies in there! I did some reading on the internet and there are lots of women who complain of the same thing, but were only pregnant with a singleton.. They were all similar in height and weight to me, so it must have something to do with the lack of space in our bellies. At least I know it is common!

I am having a rummage sale this week to get rid of stuff we no longer need and to make some extra room for the baby! I still had the baby's room cleaned out from our last pregnancy, so that was one less room to clean out. We usually have a pretty good turn out to the rummage, so it makes for a little extra cash and should make this week pass a little faster. The rummage starts tomorrow and I'm nowhere close to ready. I usually have everything set up and marked a cople days prior to opening, but I just don't have the energy to do it. My hubby helped me set-up all ofthe tables and get all of the totes down from storage and into the garage. Now I just have to set it out and mark it... I'd prefer to sleep!! Hopefully we get rid of a lot of it!

I can't believe we still have to wait 2 weeks from today before seeing the little sprout/s for the first time... An even longer 2ww! The anxiety is killing me!

Friday, June 1, 2012

My summer job panned out!

My hubby and family had been asking me what the heck I was going to do all summer and if I was going to get a summer job. I decided today that I did... I am an incubator. My job this summer is to relax, be healthy and grow this little sprout into a baby! What an unexpected and perfect way to spend the summer!

I am still feeling very gassy, but I'm feeling a bit better today. I can't wait for the day when I am done with these progesterone suppositories. I spent yesterday cleaning my closets and the cleaning lady came today. She only charges $10/hour, so I get my entire house cleaned for $35.... I don't feel up to cleaning and I hate to be around all of the chemicals. I decided to get some breakfast and am now lounging on the couch at my parents' house while they are at the lake. I might head out to some of the cute little shops around town and maybe to the mall. My hubby wants to go golfing later, so I'm going to join him and ride in the cart. A nice little Friday!

We were finally able to tell my hubby's mom our news yesterday. She knows a lot of what we have been going through, so she was waiting to find out how the month worked out. We went out to lunch with her and my hubby just asked her if she would be ready to baby-sit next February! She was sooo excited! It has been so nice to be able to give everyone good news for once! I will probably end up telling my hubby's cousin because we are very close and she has been the only other person on his side of the family that I have told about all of our struggles.... I know she is dying to find out how last cycle turned out... She's already been fishing around. I want to wait until after we hear a heartbeat before we tell anyone else in our immediate family. Ideally, I would like to wait until we made it to 12 weeks, but I know that is a bit impossible! We will just have to tell when the time is right!!