Monday, April 30, 2012

This is so true......

I found this today and it made me smile......


CD2........ Cycle #14.... here we go again!

I'm still coming to terms with the disappointment with another failed cycle.  My hubby and I went out for a margarita today... just because we can! 

I had my baseline u/s today... 15 follicles in each ovary this month.  They increased my dose of femara to 7.5mg/day, so I can only imagine how this is going to go!  I've apologized to my hubby in advance.  They have me scheduled for my follow-up u/s next Tuesday on CD10 to measure the mature follicles.  We are crossing our fingers for more than one mature follicle this month... and crossing them hard =)  Then we will do the HCG trigger shot when the follicles (hopefully) are mature, time intercourse and then come the awesome progesterone suppositories.  As I'm typing this, I can't believe all of the stuff I'm putting myself through. 

I talked with the RE's PA, nurse and patient representative today about our options if these cycles continue to fail.  I got the financial info on IUI and IVF procedures so we know the various options.  Since morphology is our biggest barrier, our chances with IUI are about the same as what we are doing now with medicated cycles and timed intercourse.  There are plenty of little swimmers getting there, but it is kind of like a square peg in a round hole... it just doesn't fit.  The nurse and I died laughing at the visualization of them all just trying to fertilize the egg... tails wagging and frantically trying to get in!  That must be so frustrating and disappointing for them!! HA!!  Anyway, after looking at the financials, we have decided that IVF would probably be the next step.    I'm such a planner, so just knowing that we have another option is very calming.  I am very optimistic that we will be able to get pregnant solely doing medicated cycles.  It might take us a couple tries, but I think this will work.  I just don't want to try so long and have so many failed cycles that it starts to do irrepairable damage to our relationship.  I'm glad summer is right around the corner and I have more flexibility with my schedule so so we can spend long weekends at the lake, go golfing, take road trips, etc... bring some fun and life back into our relationship so we don't lose ourselves along this journey.  We love each other so much and we know this will happen for us someday soon. 

I start the Femara tomorrow, so I'll keep you all posted on how amazing I start to feel =)  

Sunday, April 29, 2012

A glass of wine and a good cry.....

So I finally caved in this morning and tested.... This is what I saw!



Well not really, but I think you get the gist.  A BIG FAT NEGATIVE!!!  Talk about total disappointment.  To make matters worse, it looks like AF has arrived... which totally takes away the hope that my blood test would come back positive.  However, I'm a bit confused, because I didn't think I was supposed to get AF while still on the progesterone!?  It is enough at this point to warrant a light tampon, so I guess this is CD1 of Cycle #14.... which means that even on the progesterone, I only had a 12 day luteal phase.... sufficient, but interesting!  I guess it is back to the RE's office tomorrow for a routine blood test and hopefully they can do the baseline u/s all at the same time.  We talked about increasing the Femara this month to hopefully get more than one mature follicle to increase our chances.... 

I told my hubby and I had a good cry.  He keeps his feelings very bottled up, but they kind of exploded.  He got all frustrated and started talking about the fact that we were going to have to spend all of our savings to ever make this happen.  He went on about how much it hurts him to see me going through all this because he feels very responsible.  He would rather go broke than continue to see me go through all of this for the next 6 months.  He is sad that I've had to change.... he doesn't think I'm not as carefree and happy as I used to be and that makes him sad... me too!  I, of course, become the optimist.  I explained to him that the medicated cycles increase our chances, but it isn't a guarantee that we will get pregnant the first month we are on them.  Next month we will make some adjustments and hopefully that will make all the difference!  He thought that it if it didn't work this month then it wasn't ever going to work... ha!  He was much relieved after I told him that we can do this for several months before having to move onto anything more extreme. 

I think part of what he sees of me not being as carefree not only has to do with us struggling to get pregnant, but also my job.  I absolutely love what I do, but I struggle to enjoy the environment I work in.  We only have 2 weeks left before the end of the school year and I think the summer will be good for both of us.  I have decided not to get a job, but to spend time doing things that I love and being stress free!  We need to spend the 2ww doing things together that get our minds off what we are waiting for and I think this will be much easier in the summer. 

It is weird that a BFN and AF bring sadness, but also a little relief.  It is so sad that all of the hopes are gone for this month, but I do feel relieved that I no longer have to wonder and can look forward to starting the next cycle!  It's crazy how soon hope is restored when I start thinking about the hopes for next cycle!

So.... I'm going to have a glass of wine and a good cry because....  here we go again!!!

Saturday, April 28, 2012

To test or not to test....... that is the question?!

I'm 12dpo today... with my pregnancy last year, I didn't test positive until AF was 3 days late!  I only have one kidney, so I've been trying to figure out if this could cause the HCG to hit my urine stream late (possibly why I can't ever get a positive OPK either).  Grrrrr.

So... What do I do?!?!?  I so badly want to test, but I can't bring myself to do it.  I'm terrified of seeing a BFN (even if it is a false negative because it is too early)... until I see that BFN, there is still hope.  My hubby is absolutely conviced that this is the month.  My head is telling me I'm not so I shouldn't get my hopes up, but my heart is telling me that I am absolutely pregnant... talk about confusing!  I've never actually argued with myself.  Before the miscarriage in November, I feel like I was handling the 2ww a lot better.  AF arrived and we began the next cycle.  Now it feels like all of my hopes and dreams are hanging on each HPT and each BFN is a step farther away from these dreams and a step closer to extreme measures.  This journeyis starting to run my lives and I'm beginning to get very bitter and sad.....

As you can probably tell, today has been a very tough day.  I'm extremely emotional today, which is totally messing with my head.  I've been angry, sad and started crying just watching TV.  My poor hubby...  Now, it would all be justified if I knew I was going crazy because I was pregnant, but instead I feel like I'm just plain crazy!  I'm still feeling all the same symptoms as before, but now I've also been getting waves of nausea.... is this all in my head???  I've been searching all over the internet and all I can find is that the progesterone suppositories basically make you feel pregnant... are you serious?!?  Yeah, cuz this is exactly what women who are struggling TTC need during the 2ww.  UGH!

Friday, April 27, 2012

When to test update....

So I went back and looked at the notes I took after talking to the RE at the beginning of the month. He said that I could start testing on Monday with a HPT, and then come in for a blood test at 15dpo to either confirm BFP or prior to taking me off progesterone. The nurse said I could probably test over the weekend, but might get a false negative so to keep testing until 15dpo. I'm glad I wrote that all down... I was so confused by the whole hubby going to give me a shot in the butt surprise that I blacked out everything else she told me!!

I took a nap and I feel a bit better emotionally... Hubby and I had some good laughs, which is always good for the mood. Gotta love him!! Physically, I still feel very odd. I've been on the progesterone for over a week, so it seems a little weird that the symptoms would just start now... Does that mean they are PG symptoms!?! I'm going to drive myself crazy!!

11dpo.......

Hmmmm... I don't really know what I'm feeling today. I feel like I'm on a never ending roller coaster of emotions. I tend to be t so pessimistic towards the end of my cycles as I start to think about testing. I want to test tomorrow, but I can't stand to see the BFN. I so badly want this to be our month. It makes me so sad that this has been such a struggle for us. I have plenty of symptoms (my boobs have really started to get sore), but I have no idea if they are side effects from the progesterone or just my imagination. I'm nervous, anxious and just want to know!! I'm really emotional today and desperately want this damn 2ww to be over...

I'm sorry I don't have much to say! I'm exhausted... Both physically and emotionally. I think it is time for a little ice cream, a movie and snuggling with my hubby.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

9dpo........

I took a HPT today and for the first time in our TTC history, I was relieved to see a BFN. The HCG from the trigger shot can remain in your body for up to 10 days. I wanted to make sure that I got a BFN before a BFP (hopefully)so I am sure that any result I get when I test is accurate.

I seem to be on an emotional roller coaster. One minute I know I'm pregnant and the next minute I feel like it will never happen! My hubby is convinced that this is our month, but he says that every month! This month I hope he's right!!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

8dpo.......

Nothing new today... I am getting very anxious to test, but I know I can't at least until the weekend. It would be ideal to wait until Monday, but I don't know if I can wait! I hate to start analyzing every symptom I think might point to being pregnant... I think you can talk yourself into anything. I am still very tired and I've started peeing a lot, especially in the middle of the night. Who knows... Could mean I'm pregnant and could mean I drank a lot of water!!

On another note... Only 15 days of school left before we are out for the summer. I decided not to get a summer job... Hopefully just an incubator!!

Sunday, April 22, 2012

6dpo.........

I am exhausted so this is going to be quick....

Spent the day with my mom today, we shopped, ordered pizza and did our nails. It was so nice to have a relaxing and fun day with her!!

I've definitely noticed some changes in my body in the past couple days. So are these pregnancy symptoms or side effects from all the meds???

- crazy and vivid dreams
- extremely tired
- gassy and bloated
- EXTREMELY sensitive to smells

Only time will tell!!!

Saturday, April 21, 2012

5 dpo....

I can test one week from now if I want to... April 30 is the day I'm supposed to call the RE and let them know the results, but the nurse said I could test next weekend!  I promised myself I would wait until April 30, but I think I will secretly test earlier (not sure who I am keeping the secret from!)

My hubby is away hunting turkey this weekend with my dad and his brother so I spent the day shopping and going to dinner and a movie with my mom and mother-in-law.  Over the past couple weeks I have actually bought some clothes for myself...  first time in a year.  When we started trying last year, I put off buying any new clothes because I didn't want to buy them and then get pregnant and outgrow them!  I never anticipated that it would take us this long.  I decided that I'm not waiting any longer and I bought some super cute clothes... It totally helps that I've lost about 10lbs since my oral surgery!!  However, I can't help but stand in the dressing room and look at myself sideways while I stick out my belly and think... wouldn't this look so cute with a pregnant belly!

I stopped taking my OvaCue vaginal readings for the rest of the month.  I found it difficult to time it with the suppositories and I'd insert the suppositories and then realize that I hadn't taken the reading.  Since I'm supplementing with progesterone and I know that ovulation occured, the readings don't give me much additional information at this point.

7 days to go......

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Progesterone suppositories... Not so bad!

Today was my first day of the progesterone suppositories. I woke up about 30 minutes early, inserted the suppository and laid back down for about 45 minutes. I got up and went to the bathroom and showered. By the time I got out of the shower, all of the excess was pretty much gone! When I got home from work, I took my vaginal reading, ate dinner, inserted the suppository and watched some TV for about 45 min. I went to the bathroom and then rinsed off and I was good to go! We went and ran errands and everything felt just fine.  I was pretty nervous about them, but they are nothing near as bad as I was expecting... More of an inconvenience then anything!

Went to acupuncture today for my first post-ovulation treatment. He told me that something seemed different about me today?!?! He said that he's been doing this for a long time and he tends to have a sixth sense about these things... H said he has a really good feeling about this month! It was so relaxing today... Just what I needed!!

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

And the 2WW begins.....

I woke up yesterday (Monday) morning with what I'm assuming were pretty significant ovulation pains. I have had them before, but nothing as noticeable as yesterday! There should've been some little swimmers there waiting for it! Yesterday was our second day of BDing after the trigger shot, so if the first fleet didn't make it, the relief team was sent in shortly after!! Hopefully one little guy was able to get in and get his job done!

Now onto the next adventure for the month... Progesterone suppositories?! Yuck! They suggest to get up 30 minutes before you need to for the day, insert the suppository and then lay back down to allow it to melt so it will drain out and then you can shower and get ready for the day. I also have to do one in the evening at a time when I will be lounging around. Sounds like fun!! If I get pregnant this month, I will be on an increased dose for the first trimester... Here's to hoping for 12 weeks of suppositories!!

Sunday, April 15, 2012

My poor hubby!

The fertility meds officially kicked in today...saying that I'm moody is a complete understatement! I am happy one moment, crying the next and pissed the next... It is so frustrating. I feel completely out of control. My husband has officially nicknamed me J&H - Jeckyl & Hyde. At least he sees the humor in it! We went to the movie "Big Miracle" today and I cried though the entire thing! Oh the things we put ourselves through on order to get pregnant!

Today was the day to make our baby... That was a lot of pressure. I found myself getting very stressed since the RE didn't give us specific times to do anything. They said to do the trigger shot anytime on Saturday and then to BD Sunday and Monday... I started over analyzing and stressing about the timing all weekend! We did the trigger shot at 1pm, so I wasn't sure what time of day we were supposed to BD. We decided that early evening would be the best, even though now I'm thinking we should have waited until later. I'm terrified of missing the timing. I know we have way better timing than every other month, but it is easy to second guess yourself. I know I am supposed to ovulate about 36 hours after the trigger shot, but I didn't know if we were supposed to do it exactly 36 hours after or if we should do it a little earlier to ensure that the swimmers are there waiting! Ugh!! Now we have to think about the timing for tomorrow... Do we do it before work or after work?? If this month doesn't work, then I am going to ask for a very specific time schedule... I'm such a planner and schedule follower. The timing may be stressing me out, but at least we aren't having to BD every other day all month... Which is stressful in itself!

Now is the time for relaxation.... I've promised myself to stay calm and stress free for the next 2weeks. I have a couple acupuncture apps, and might go get a massage while my hubby is out of town next weekend. I can't test until April 30... The countdown begins!

Saturday, April 14, 2012

HCG trigger shot was a success!!

Today was the day for my HCG trigger shot... the first injection we had to administer at home!  My hubby watched a video on you tube and then we were ready!  He made a bullseye on my butt cheek and I iced it for about 10 minutes.  He mixed everything like a pro and we bit the bullet... completely PAINLESS!!  He did awesome... I didn't even know he did it!  Afterwards, we both had a moment where we sat and looked at all that we are going through... and he he simply said that he can't believe that we have to do this.  It is the first time that I have ever heard him acknowledge the fact that it isn't fair that we are having so much trouble and that it should just be easier.  I honestly never thought it would reach the point where we were doing injections at home.  It really struck us today that we are officially struggling... ugh.   

Now onto the fun part!  I love the RE's nurse, and the last time I talked with her at the office, she gave me her secret conception serum for my hubby for timed cycles.  For all of you out there, here it is........  The day of the HCG shot, he needs to drink 1-2 beers (you can have a couple as well to ease the stress) and then a Monster Energy drink for the two days following (the two days that we BD after the HCG shot).  She didn't tell me the whole reasoning behind it, but she swears by it!!  So... we went to the store tonight and picked up a 6 pack of beer and 2 Monster Energy drinks... I think we can handle this part!  But how unfair... I get a shot in my butt and he gets some beer and a couple energy drinks!!  HA!! 

It still all feels so weird only BDing on such a short and strict schedule... it is more expensive, but definitely less stressful! 

Friday, April 13, 2012

CD10 ultrasound... Maybe our baby??

I went in for my CD10 ultrasound this afternoon to see if I had any mature follicles and if I was ready to get the HCG trigger shot. The u/s showed that my uterine lining is thickening and I had 2 follicles in my right ovary that were both at 12mm and 1 follicle in my left ovary that was 16mm... The dominant follicle and possibly the first look at what may one day be our baby!!! A follicle is considered mature if it is over 18mm and they grow an average of 1-2mm per day...so we are right on track to ovulate on Sunday! We knew that today might be early, but since I ovulated early last month, they didn't want me to ovulate on my own before I could be monitored and given the HCG shot. My little follicle should be ready for ovulation within the next day or so! They are having me do the trigger shot at home tomorrow?!?!? It is a big needle and I'm a bit worried whether or not my hubby is going to be able to stick me with the large needle... Or if I will be able to let him!! I'm not afraid of needles, but it still makes me nervous. We have instructions to BD tonight (in order to get a fresh batch of swimmers for after the trigger shot), abstain tomorrow and then BD on Sunday and Monday. On Wednesday, I start the progesterone suppositories. I take them twice a day for two weeks or until I get my period. The nurse said that I can take an HPT on the last day of April if I haven't gotten my period. If it is positive (crossing my fingers) then I will continue to take the progesterone suppositories throughout the first trimester... If it is negative then I will stop the suppositories and should get my period. I will have my baseline u/s on CD2/3 of the next cycle and will increase the dose of the Femara in the hopes of getting 2 mature follicles with the next cycle.

Hopefully we get a BFP and don't have to worry about the next cycle!!

Thursday, April 12, 2012

What if.....

This is going to be quick because I'm tire, but I had to get this off my chest... I have my CD10 u/s tomorrow to check my little follies and I'm a bit nervous. So many "what ifs??"... What if there aren't any mature follicles? What if there are too many? What if I ovulated on my own? What if my body didn't respond to the Femara? What if I don't respond to the HCG trigger shot? Ugh!!!

I guess only time will tell.... Update coming soon!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Waiting for Friday!!

This month is weird.... usually we are BDing every other night starting the minute AF packs her bags throughout the entire month.  I'm so used to constantly thinking about whether I'm ovulating and analyzing every twinge, if we are BDing enough and at the right time, so this month I feel like I'm not doing anything... just waiting for the little follicles to mature!  It is weird to think that everything is going to be timed and all of the guesswork will be taken out of if and when I ovulate and if we time it correctly.  It is a very relaxing and stress free month... weird, but nice! 

We started our pre-ovulation BDing tonight... we were instructed to BD tonight (3 days prior to my most fertile time) in order to have a fresh supply of swimmers ready in case my follicles are mature enough on Friday for the HCG trigger shot. 

On another note, I turned in my application to do summer school today.  It is only goes from the end of May through the end of July on T, W, and Th from 8-12. It isn't that bad, and the money will be an added bonus since we've had so many bills over the past year.  I have been putting it off in hopes that I would be able to take the summer off and just be an incubator!!  I'm hoping it is my last year that I will even have the option of doing summer school (since I'm hoping to have a baby by next summer at least!), so I bit the bullet and filled out the app.  I figure that I can always turn it down if I get knocked up this month!  Ahhh... wouldn't that be nice! 

I updated my OvaCue readings...

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Happy Easter!

We spent the morning with family and then planted potatoes and onions in our garden.  We are having some crazy warm weather early this year, so we were able to get a head start.  We are now relaxing at home and my hubby is catching up on the Masters golf tournament, while I'm catching up on my blog and the forums over on www.ovagraph.com (I am just a wee bit addicted!).  I am just loving the fact that there isn't any school tomorrow so I have the day off tomorrow!

Today is my third day on Femara and the side effects haven't been as bad as I expected.  The most severe side effects I've experienced are that I am completely exhausted and emotional.  Luckily I haven't had a lot of mood swings, but cry at anything and everything!  Yesterday I was having some extreme stomach cramping and experienced a little dizziness while I was shopping in the mall.  The stomach cramps were so bad that I was lying on the floor in the dressing room in complete agony.  All of them were pretty short lived, but the extreme drowsiness is exhausting and constant.  One of the side effects I've read about is that it can make you have difficulty sleeping, but I am just the opposite... I have been sleeping like a rock!!

I started a new page on the blog - up at the top of the page - for charting my OvaCue readings and interpreting what is going on each month.  I'm not sure how this month is all going to play out since it is my first medicated cycle and I'm not sure how  the meds are going to effect the electrolyte levels in my saliva.  I'm sure it will be an interesting month!!

 I think I'm going to head to bed for the night....

Saturday, April 7, 2012

CD4... day 2 of Femara

So here's the plan for the month...

I had my appointment with the RE on Friday, CD3.  I had a baseline u/s and have 20 follicles in each ovary.  He started me on Femara for 5 days in order to stimulate my ovaries and hopefully give the little swimmer an extra target.  I have an appointment next Friday, CD10, for another u/s to check the size and number of the mature follicles (I'm hoping for 2).  If the follicles are mature enough, they will administer the HCG trigger shot at that appointment.  We have been instructed to BD 2 days before the appointment (to replenish the supply for after the shot) and then the 2 days after the trigger shot.  I can take a pregnancy test 2 weeks after the trigger shot and no sooner...  I've read up on all the side effects of all of these drugs... should be an interesting month.  I was reading them to my hubby and he asked if he could take a sleeping bag over to my parents until I needed him... He is so good at making me laugh through all of this!

All of this is going to fall on a weekend when he was supposed to be hunting with my dad, his brother and a couple other friends.  I told him everything that was happening this month and he was so good about rearranging the trip for the following weekend without me having to ask him to.  He is such a sweetheart and has been so patient with me on this journey.  I love him so much.... aw.

We got his SA results back yesterday at my appointment.  His morphology (sperm shape) is still low, but his count doubled (even though it was normal in the first place - avg is 20 - 115 million).  Last time he had 3% normal sperm out of 44 million and now it is 3% normal sperm out of 82 milllion... So that's a lot more normal sperm this time!  Most DRs still say that 15% morphology is normal, but I've done some research on line and WHO (World Health Organization) states that anything over 3% is considered normal and that they actually don't think morphology plays a huge role in infertility unless it is 0%.  The criteria for "normal" has gotten so strict over the past several years, so more men are having abnormal morphology.  It is the same thing the urologist says... don't worry about the morphology... it is all timing!  It only takes one sperm and 3% of 82 million is still a lot of swimmers!

I'm so excited to use the Ovacue this month along with the meds and the u/s monitoring. I have the chart updated and available on the blog.  Nothing exciting is happening yet, but I'll be interpreting my readings and relating them to my u/s throughout the month.

Oh yeah... remember all of those OPKs I ordered the other day???  My RE asked me not to use them because the fertility meds can give false positives!! HA!  Luckily I have a friend who is also TTC so she is wanting to buy them from me!  I'll still need the HPTs so at least I got something out of the deal!

Thursday, April 5, 2012

OPKs on their way!

I haven't ever had a positive OPK, so it absolutely kills me to spend a bunch of money every month on the digital tests from Walgreens. I finally broke down and ordered a combo pack from www.early-pregnancy-tests.com..... 50 OPK test strips and 15 HPT test strips!!! I am going to be POAS CRAZY... Ha!! All for the cost of one pack of digital pregnancy tests...so pumped!! They say the best time to test is from 10am-8pm, after without going to the bathroom for 4 hours before and in between. So... I guess I will start testing like clockwork!! It is going to be weird to be testing at work, because with the test strips, you have to pee into a container and then dip it! Oh, the things I thought I would never have to do!

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

It's official.... CD1 of Cycle 13

AF came to visit this morning with a vengeance. I don't know what her problem is, but she sucks!! On the upside, I am having a period...

Talked to the RE's nurse today and she was a bit concerned that my cycle was only 21 days. I'm ready to get moving on this baby train, so we decided to start Letrozole (Femara) with this cycle to ensure I am ovulating and give the little swimmers an extra target (if I can get 2 mature follicles). I have my baseline u/s on Friday and then will start the meds on day 3-7. They will monitor the follicles closely and will give me an HCG trigger shot when the follicles are mature. The trigger shot will trigger ovulation so we can closely time our BDing... Which will take a lot of the guessing, and stress, out of the equation. However, hubby was supposed to be out of town next weekend on a hunting trip and he's unfortunately going to have to reschedule because we are both basically on call. He's really good about it, but it is a bit depressing to have to putnurnlives on hold for that week. I guess, there isn't any way around it at this point. After the meds, countless u/s, trigger shot and the BDing... It is the typical 2WW!!! Busy month ahead!

So as scary as it sounds... We have officially started fertility treatments. It is a big step, but I think we are ready for it. Fingers crossed for a successful cycle!

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

I could scream!!!

I'm currently on CD21 and 9dpo. I have been experiencing what I thought was implantation bleeding since Sunday. However, I was still spotting today so I was getting a little suspicious that something else was going on. My BBT this morning dropped, as did my Ovacue vaginal reading. I went to the bathroom tonight after dilnner... And the spotting has now progressed into what appears to be my period?!?!?!? What the heck is going on now?? Prior to my miscarriage, I had very regular 30-32 day cycles. After the miscarriage, I had cyclical pain every 28 days... Now 21?? If ovulation really occured on CD12, my luteal phase was only 9 days... Way too short. So frustrating! I guess the RE will be getting a call from me first thing in the morning. I know he will have me come in to check my hormone levels to see if my progesterone levels are low indicating the start of another cycle... Because they need to draw blood to confirm what I already know!! He is planning to start me on Letrazole(Femara) with this next cycle so that should keep things interesting. I'm hoping he will monitor my hormones throughout this next cycle in addition to the meds. I feel like everything was in order before the miscarriage, but I feel completely out of whack like we are back at square one. I guess the upside to this is that at least I am finally able to get a cycle... Even if it is short!

So...here's to another month and another mystery.... Ugh.

Monday, April 2, 2012

CD20 (8dpo)..... the countdown begins!

My Ovacue vaginal readings increased even more today and I continued to have some light spotting. My husband thinks I'm crazy because I keep jabbing a finger into my boobs to see if they are getting sore... And they are! It is so hard because I start looking for all of these early pregnancy signs, but they are all the same as period symptoms. GRRR.

My hubby goes in for the repeat SA tomorrow... Poor guy! He's been such a sport through this whole thing. I know the results of the last two SAs have been somewhat of a blow to his manhood. I don't think that he ever dreamt that it might be an issue on his part. I'm crossing my fingers that everything is in the normal range this time. I sometimes feel sorry for him because i can't even imagine having to go and do that in a sterile lab... But he quickly loses my sympathy after I think of all the various procedures and poking and prodding and numerous people who have seen me at my most vulnerable over the past year!!! After all that I've had to go through over the past year, he says that repeating the SA is the least he can do. However, I'm kind of wondering of we should wait until the beginning of the next cycle, just in case we were successful this month! Oh well... I'm a little superstitious and afraid that I will jinx it if I put it off for next month... So tomorrow it is!

So here is to a great SA tomorrow... May the little swimmers be plentiful, nicely shaped and fast moving!!

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Hmmmm.... Implantation bleeding??

My Ovacue readings have been pretty interesting. I am currently on CD19 and my readings and my BBT have stayed elevated since ovulation was indiated on CD12. I did have a dip in my vaginal reading on CD17 and then it increased over the past couple days. When I took my readings today, I kept getting the over 400 error message, but everything was plugged in correctly and I was doing it the same as always. I took it a 3rd time and got a reading of 331.... I saved that reading and tried it a couple times just to be sure it was accurate and got several similar readings. I was definitely relieved to see higher readings indicating progesterone dominance in my luteal phase. Then... I went to the bathroom and much to my surprise I was spotting.... Could it be implantation bleeding 7dpo??? Of course, I googled it and it seems that it would be perfect timing in my cycle for it to be implantation bleeding. I haven't ever had any mid-cycle bleeding. Everything has seemed to fall into place this month. My chart has been pretty predictable with the dips and rises in both my Ovacue readings and my BBT. This is the first month that I had a clear shift in my BBT and it just happened to coincide perfectly with my Ovacue readings!

I hate to get too excited, but it does help me to stay optimistic as I head into my 1ww. This month seems to have flown by and I only have 8 days before I know whether or not this month was successful. I'm going to stay as stress-free and relaxed as possible for the next week. I only have 3 days of work this week and the students are all doing the state standard assessments, so my week will be filled with lots of time to get caught up. Then, I have 5 days off for Easter break! I have my 2 post ovulation acupuncture appointments this week... One on Wednesday and the other on Friday. I get my sutures out of my mouth on Friday and have a manicure and pedicure with my mom! All of that should keep me busy during my 1ww...

Fingers crossed.....