CD1... Officially one year.

January marks one year of "not  trying", so I guess we are back to actually trying now.  I am really trying not to get back to the place where my every emotion hinges on how the month goes and what cycle day I am on.  That is one of the hardest things to do.  Especially right now....

We are approaching what would've been my due date for the angel we said good-bye to in June.  I would be nearing the end of that pregnancy as my due date was February 10.  I have so many mixed emotions right now and am trying to sort it out... that is exactly what this blog is for, correct?? 

I recently resigned from my job and am not a stay at home mommy for my 2 year old twins!!  As a gift to me, my hubby gave me a month at home while the kids stayed in daycare.  I have been getting so much done around the house in preparation for being home full time, but also just catching up on some much needed me time!  I am absolutely looking forward to getting to spend every day with them.  Time has been going way too fast and I really feel like I need more time with them. 

Back to the TTC..... I was almost positive that this month was it!  I put off using my fertility monitor yet another month because I was convinced it was just going to happen again.  I was wrong.  I just replaced the batteries in my OvaCue and we are going to be back at it starting tomorrow!  I have concerns that something isn't right with my hormones, or my lining, or my entire cycle in general.  I don't know how long my husband is going to be able to keep me out of the RE's office.  My insurance covers any infertility treatment up to any sort of insemination or embryo transfer, so I am not as hesitant to make an appointment to get things re-checked out.  I will give it a couple more months of lower stress living and monitoring my cycle with the OvaCue to see if that helps at all.  Maybe charting will give me a little more insight... hopefully it is just coming down to timing! 

I will be posting my daily readings and interpreting along the way!   Feels weird to be back in this place again.  Completely different from when we were trying for the twins.... I have the most amazing children, but our family just doesn't feel complete. 

Oh... and I just ordered some HPTs in bulk.  It is crazy expensive and I am a testing junkie!