Wait and see.......

I had my CD10 u/s today to check the progress of my follicles and I'm having some major mixed emotions about how it went...

I have four follicles that are all 11-12mm on the rights side and three 11mm follicles on the left!!!  Count that... that is 7 follicles!  I was so relieved to see multiple follicles, but disappointed that none of them are mature yet.  Because my last natural cycle (#12) was incredibly short, they had me come in a couple days earlier than normal in order to make sure I didn't ovualte on my own.  So... for CD10, 11-12mm is ok (not great, but OK).  I was told to let them mature a couple more days on their own and then to come in on CD12 for another u/s.  GRRR....  Another waiting game.  Hopefully 3-4 of them will continue to mature on their own.  If they don't mature enough on their own, then he wants to do a couple days of injections prior to the HCG shot in order to help them mature a little further... UGH.  The other issue is that my uterine lining is a little thin... DUH... I was spotting forever!!  The lining should grow as the follicles continue to grow, and if it isn't thick enough on Thursday then the injectibles will help this grow as well.  No matter what, this month isn't wasted... there is always a back-up plan!         

Now my mind is reeling.... if we have to add injections in order to get mature follicles this month, then that means that my body isn't responding to the meds very well.  If things don't end up coming around, then it is on to injectibles (similar to IVF, but not as many).  Then I start questioning if this is the right path.  How many cycles do we do like this before we just move on.  We could do about 7-8 medicated cycles (we've already done 2) and will have spent as much as if we would've just gone through with IVF from the beginning... but we'd probably be pregnant and have our sanity intact!

I know there is a lot of good news that came from today and a lot that is just wait and see, but for some reason I'm only focused on the negatives.  Why can't things just be "normal" for us?

Grow little follies, grow.....

I woke up this morning and the spotting had pretty much stopped!  You have no idea what a relief that was.  I thought for sure this month was wasted and something was wrong... again.  I don't think I can take another setback.  The past several days have been incredibly frustrating, so it was a nice relief for things to go back to "normal".

Today we had to start thinking about all of the timing again.  We were instructed to BD this morning or afternoon in order to freshen the supply in case my follicles are ready for the HCG shot tomorrow.  So we had to have a little lunch "date" in order to keep to the timing they have set for us!  Nothing like a little SOD (sex on demand!)... ha!  My u/s appointment is tomorrow at 10:45 to check the number and size of my little follies.  I'm still crossing my fingers for 3... or 4!


Grow little follies, grow...

Coming to an end???

I have spent the entire day taking clothes off and putting them back on.... Taking them off and putting them back on... Taking them off and putting them back on...

It isn't what you think!! I am having some incredible hot flashes! I think the side effects of the Femara have hit me harder after I finished them, than while I was actually taking them. I had a headache, was exhausted, nauseous and Was either hot or cold all day long. On the upside, the spotting seems to be slowing down and will hopefully stop by tomorrow.

Tomorrow marks the beginning of the last full week of school! I am so excited that I can barely contain myself! I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do for the summer. There is a huge part of me that just wants to use the summer to regroup emotionally, relax and hopefully get knocked up!



Crossing my fingers for no more spotting tomorrow... This has been a total pain in my butt.

What the heck is going on?!?!?!?

TMI ALERT...

I had a horrible night last night... Ugh. I took my last dose of the Femara yesterday morning. I still had some dark brown spotting yesterday, which I was hoping would go away after I stopped the Femara.  I was up all night last night with hot flashes, crazy dreams and some pretty significant abdominal cramping. I woke up this morning and the cramping was gone, but the dark brown spotting had turned into a dark brownish/purplish (brown/red mixed) light flow.  Over the past couple days the spotting has also been accompanied with some clots or what appears to be uterine lining?!  I know that it is old blood and lining since it is so dark in color.  There isn't any bright red spotting indicating new blood.  I have done some researching online and have found other people who have reported having similar concerns and their doctors were not concerned.  Apparently, Femara creates a very thick and fluffy lining and sometimes tends to get rid of extra old lining.  Hmmm... I am so anxious to call the RE tomorrow and see if this is normal.  I'm a bit concerned that the increase in dose from 5.0 to 7.5mg of Femara caused my ovaries to mature the follicles and ovulate naturally VERY early.  The cramping last night felt a lot like ovulation cramps, but I know that my ovaries are also very stimulated and who knows what I'm feeling!  I can only pray that as the day goes on and the Femara gets out of my system,  that the spotting will stop! 

We have to BD tomorrow in preparation for the HCG trigger shot and that could get very uncomfortable and messy!  Why can't we just have a nice and normal cycle?!  I am so sick of this TTC crap and nothing every going as planned.  GRRRR... why can't my husband just sneeze and knock me up??  Seems to work for most other people!

Eternally spotting...

The title says it all.... I am currently having the never-ending cycle!! I haven't stopped spotting yet... Ugh! Makes it pretty hard to take my vaginal Ovacue readings.

We are at a pretty boring part in my cycle right now. I did have acupuncture today and it was so relaxing! I wish I could go every other day... Love. It.

Nothing big planned for the weekend... Lots of relaxing!!

TGIF.....tomorrow!

I'm sitting here in bed tossing and turning because I'm completely exhausted but can NOT sleep! It is the craziest thing! I noticed an increase in irritability today, but nothing drastic. I am just so tired that I daydream about taking a nap all day long.

I can't even express how thrilled I am that it is Friday tomorrow... Only 8 days of school left before summer officially begins! The school year went fast, but these last several weeks have drug on and on. We don't have any huge plans for the weekend... We are going to plant our garden and watch the Kentucky Derby. It will be the first time in 5 years that we aren't going to have our annual Derby Party... We have a very large group of friends that we have known since high school (most since ekementary school!!) We are at a rough spot with all of our friends. We have 3 friends who are pregnant and due around our previous due date.. Of course they are all PG with their second child. So aside from the PG couples, the rest of them have new babies or toddlers and I just can't handle it. There is one other couple that is TTC and we see each other on a pretty consistent basis. However, I am not in a spot where I can handle listening to all the baby and kid talk. I know I will be the same way whenever we get pregnant, but I just can't even stand the thought of it. I am so incredibly happy for them, but I'm starting to get just a little bit bitter. Not to mention the fact that I am on so many fertility meds and hormones that I'm not having anything to drink and tear up at the sight of a pregnant woman!

I am so excited that tomorrow is Friday, but even more so for my acupuncture appointment tomorrow after school... I am in desperate need for some relaxation. I always sleep so well the couple nights after acupuncture, so hopefully that will counteract these side effects. My housekeeper is coming tomorrow as well... Nothing like some relaxation and a clean house to start a weekend!!

Wonder how the follicles are developing??

Complete exhaustion!

I'm on the second day of the Femara and the only side effect that I've really noticed is how extremely tired it makes me - my hubby is very thankful that I'm still very pleasant!   I take it right away in the morning and by afternoon, I can barely keep my eyes open while I'm trying to do therapy with my students.  I even daydreamed about where I could take a nap today!  I couldn't get home and change into my pajamas fast enough, and I've now taken up residence on the couch and sleeping is sounding so inviting...

On Wednesdays, several speech therapists get together over lunch to touch base and collaborate.  One of the therapists is currently on maternity leave and brought her absolutely adorable daughter.  She is one of my favorite coworkers, and even though I usually I can't look at pregnant women or new babies, it was so healing to hold her little one.  It reminded me of why we are on this journey and that the end prize is absolutely priceless!  As I held her today, I couldn't help but think of our little one that I am supposed to be carrying.   We were supposed to be due June 18... it is quickly approaching and  thinking about it makes me feel completely empty.  This journey was supposed to be almost over... the baby clothes would be already be bought and washed and the nursery would be decorated.  Instead, we are back at the beginning of yet another cycle...

I'm thinking positively and visualizing the success of this month... aside from taking all the  medications and BDing... it is all I can do!