I married the love of my life on March 28, 2011. We got married at a beautiful resort in Cancun, Mexico. We shared the day with 11 of our closest family and it was everything I ever dreamed of.
I had been off birth control since February 2011, but this officially began our journey to conceive. I am a smart, rational, and pretty reasonable women and am anxiously wanting to start a family with her wonderful hubby. We are both absolutely ready to be parents, not to mention the alarms on my biological clock are sounding wildly!
As unappealing as the majority of the new moms and currently pregnant women make pregnancy and motherhood seem, I am dying to experience the pits and peaks for myself.
In November, I unexpectedly found out I was pregnant, but after 5 weeks found out the little peanut was now our little angel baby. I had a D&C on November 15 and felt completely helpless and empty. My hubby was my rock. He held me when I needed comforting and gave me space when I needed to be angry. The range of emotions that I experienced were amazing.
I never held you, but I feel you
You never spoke, but I hear you
I never met you, but I love you....
We are now 13 weeks post d&c and haven't had a normal cycle. The cycle I had in January was severe cramping, but no bleeding. The RE (reproductive endocrinologist) assumes that I had no uterine lining built up since my d&c, but is closely monitoring this cycle. I've had ultrasounds and bloodwork and I just finished 10 days of Provera to attempt to bring on a cycle. It's pretty hard to get pregnant without AF! AF = Aunt Flo - yes, I now talk in TTC (trying to conceive) lingo! I should get AF anytime in the next 2 weeks... and if I have to wait the whole 2 weeks I may or may not go lose my mind!
I am tired... exhausted... frustrated.. annoyed....... mostly tired. Everyone always says to just stop trying and it will happen. I wish I could! I wish I could stop and put it on hold, but that is impossible. I can't stop temping and charting and POASing (peeing on a stick).... I now have a new fertility monitor! I just ordered the OvaCue - a fertility monitor based on electrolytes in your saliva and your cervical mucous. It actually confirms ovulation, so I'm pretty pumped!
Alright... that is the last year in a nut shell............ Let the fun begin!