Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!

That is me.... Screaming at the top of my lungs in frustration! I just got a call from the nurse today to go over the RE's surgical report. Aside from what I already knew, she said that he didn't find any scarring or adhesions inside my uterus that would be causing me not to get my period. She said that he is still under the assumption that it is all hormonal... Possibly related to stress?? (stress delays ovulation, which we know I am doing...) I immediately started crying... How can this be?? We know that I'm ovulating based on progesterone levels and we know that my lining was thick enough to shed and we even confirmed through ultrasound that my uterus was shedding... So where the heck is it going?? I keep getting blood drawn and they keep telling me that everything looks normal. If my hormones look normal, how can this be hormonal??? I'm sorry, but even I know that if you ovulate, there are only 2 options... You either get a period or you get pregnant... GRRRR. He says that there is a slight possibility that there was some scar tissue that was broken up upon insertion of the hysteroscope, but there isn't any way to confirm that and he isnt convinced that it is the cause of missing periods...Ugh! I know that time will tell, but I'm so tired of not having answers. I can only take some comfort in the fact that there isn't anything structurally wrong with my uterus and that I have a great home for a little one to grow.

I told the nurse that if he is assuming that this is all hormonal, then I want to do whatever we can to THIS CYCLE to try and get my hormones back on track so that we can move on with our lives.... Not to mention TTC. She said she would talk to the RE and express my confusion and concern and see what we could do this month to help bring on a period. She is assuming he will have me come in for bloodwork this afternoon to check progesterone levels and other hormones to see where i am in y cycle. We are assuming I am on about CD18 (based on cycle pain), so I should've ovulated and my progesterone should be high. I'm still waiting for that call to see where we go from here.

I really do like my RE and I know that it is pretty much a guessing game. I just don't feel like they are looking at the past couple months as a whole. I feel like every day is a constant reminder of the huge loss we suffered almost 16 weeks ago. There has been no closure and we haven't been able to move on. Total devastation...

I would scream from the top of a mountain if I could, but there isn't one close enough....