Today was a day... not a good day, not a bad day... just a day. It is crazy to think that I only ovualted 2 days ago. At this rate, my 2ww is going to seem like an eternity! My abdomen is still a bit tender and bloated from ovualtion. Ovulation started on Wednesday night, which caused BDing to be the most incredibly painful thing I have ever experienced on Wednesday and Thursday! It felt like my ovaries, uterus and cervix were so sensitive and a little bruised. We made it through, but it was NOT fun. I called the nurse today to see if this was normal and she said that unfortunately it is normal when having multiple follicles rupture. I guess this is what happens with you have a whole litter of follicles waiting to rupture! I wonder how many eggs were actually released?? It is strange to think that there could be a total miracle happening in my uterus right now!! Wouldn't that be just an amazing surprise??
I have one good friend who I have been sharing my TTC journey with because she was also TTC. I got a text from her today announcing that she is expecting and due in December.... totalyl crushed. I was sitting in the waiting room at the dermatologist and I almost lost it. I so badly want to be happy for her, but I can't. Every time I hear of another person who gets pregnant or has a baby it feels like someone punched me in my stomach. My heart literally breaks. It might be selfish and it might be a bit of a pity party, but I can only take so much of other people's good news! I am ready for some... seriously... why can't something work out for us? I know that life isn't fair, but this is just cruel.
I am trying to stay positive for this cycle. I have such a good feeling that we must have caught one of those eggs that was released!! I also have a sense of calm because we have a plan for what comes next. It is scary to think that we have come to this decision, but it is what is best for us in this journey.
Will anything good come out of this cycle??? Crossing my fingers and toes that a little miracle is at work.....